Unspun: the political diary | HeraldScotland

Unspun: the political diary | HeraldScotland

Snooty and sheep
THE day after his lofty slapdown by Jacob Rees-Mogg, poor Douglas Ross needed to face a second verbal wedgie at FMQs. Nicola Sturgeon quoted JRM saying the Scottish Tory chief was “not an enormous determine” and “light-weight”, tutting that even she wasn’t as imply about Dougie as his ain people. Maybe Mr Ross would like independence to such depraved remedy? “Completely not!” he bleated defiantly, however his physique language screamed in any other case. His twisted legs and arms have been the limbs of a person within the throes of an absolute beamer. He appeared, one frightened observer famous, “like a grilled spider”. 

Musical pairs
The return of partygate on Monday, when ITV information revealed the boozy Might 2020 bash attended by Boris Johnson, had Westminster in uproar Most events raced to sentence the occasion, however Alex Salmond’s Alba was somewhat quiet. Clearly it desires the PM to hold round and assist the Sure trigger. However our mole studies Mr Salmond was additionally in any other case engaged on the theatre in London that night, watching The Guide of Mormon with Alba pal Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh. The gleefully obscene musical includes a warlord referred to as Common Butt F***ing Bare. Feels like he’d slot in completely at a Quantity 10 work occasion.

Query-able
BORIS Johnson’s grilling at PMQs coincided with a flood of freedom of knowledge responses issuing from the Scottish Authorities, a fluke we’re positive. One buried gem was in regards to the polls run on the Authorities’s intranet final yr. They included asking officers in the event that they made New Yr resolutions, owned a pet, loved poetry, most well-liked tea or espresso, and different time-wasting fluff. Not that they’re bored out of their nut or something, however every ballot sometimes received between 2,000 and three,000 replies from employees. Your cash of their fingers, eh?

Readers digress
SOME ballot solutions have been fascinating. A fifth of staff not often or by no means activate their digital camera for digital conferences. Requested if that they had set targets for the yr, 68% mentioned No. Are you able to keep in mind the PIN quantity to your constructing? No 19%. And requested about studying, 11% mentioned “I don’t learn books”, a outcome that “really fairly appalled” somebody within the feedback part. “Sorry to have appalled you,” an unrepentant bibliophobe replied. 

Mind achieve
WE marvel how such insights would go down with a brand new “psychological evaluation” staff employed by the Authorities to assist with recruiting prime managers. A public discover reveals ministers have splashed £1.2m on a three-year take care of the Keil Centre in Edinburgh, which says it supplies “revolutionary, high-quality utilized psychology and ergonomics options for enterprise success” by “a variety of award-winning merchandise” and “bespoke options”. Sure, however are you able to make these dummies choose up a e-book? 

Bell zinger
UNSPUN has belatedly caught up with the wit and knowledge of East Ayrshire SNP councillor John Bell on Twitter. The Doon Valley democrat has been sharing his ideas on the Scottish Authorities’s finances for native authorities. “I am not standing once more as an SNP cllr so I can say what the remainder are too scared to: until there’s an enchancment… Sturgeon has simply thrown all her cllrs underneath a bus. They both reduce already-stretched companies or impose massive Council Tax rises. And good luck defending that in Might’s elections…” Ouch. 



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